"Feeling Sad" - parang reaction lang sa fb but seriously I really feel sad this past few weeks.
Notice that I have been posting a lot of tidying, fixing and arranging stuffs lately. It's because I was feeling so down and I am trying to counter it by making myself busier than the usual.
Yes I'm feeling depressed lately because our boss formally announces that he'll be closing down the company. He said he can no longer sustain the financial needs of our company and that he cannot find any means of surviving it. I am lonely not only because of financial reasons but I somehow feel like I will also be losing a family - a company which I consider as my second home.
I've been working in this company for almost nine years but I've learn to love my job regardless of the salary I'm receiving. I love working in this family environment company where your boss is like your parent and your colleagues are your brothers and sisters. I love working in this company because laughter is always present everyday. It is a company where I feel accepted, connected and be at ease with everyone else. "Alam na namin ang saltik at sumpong ng bawat isa."
There were lots of times when I feel pressured and fed up by the complaints of our clients and the only reaction I will receive from my co-worker is "e di wow". There were lots of times in my early years when green jokes were often thrown at me and I always pretend that I cannot relate to them, now I'm the first one to laugh at their jokes. I will miss my boss who always greets me with - "Grasya, mag-asawa ka na" and I will simply smile and answers her back, -"Ma'am, di pa kami ready ni Papa Piolo." Later on she upgraded it with a new version - "Grasya, ilang taon ka na - mag-anak ka na lang." and again I will answer her - "Break na po kami ni Papa Piolo e."
Though there were times of misunderstandings and conflicts, days will pass by and later on it will just be part of our daily "asaran". And even if I don't drink San Mig Lights or Empi Lights with my boss and my co-workers during weekends and occasions, I love listening to their jokes and their funny drunk moves. They have an exceptional talent in cracking jokes when they are drunk and believe me your jaws will surely lock up laughing with them.
These reasons maybe shallow for choosing to work as a minimum wager in that company but these are the reasons that sometimes cannot be measured by the amount of salary alone. Surely I will miss nine years of morning rush, arguments, deadlines, job orders, numerous phonecalls & emails but I will definitely miss nine years of "asaran", "laitan", "sagutan" & "katwiran", "sablay" and "kulitan" in our office.
Pardon me for being too sentimental, I just want to reminisce those treasured moments today. I am conditioning myself to be prepared so that in one, two or three months time I'll be able to convince my mind to relax and stay put for a while. I am still working today but I can't help but feel sad. "Isipin ko pa lang na wala na akong trabaho at di ko na makakatrabaho ang mga ka-officemate ko, nalulungkot na agad ako."
Right now we are still working and enjoying the remaining time and days in our company but we are also waiting for the decision of our boss as to when will be the final date of closure. When that day comes, I know that it'll be hard for me to adjust physically because of the daily routine I have for nine years but I know that it will be harder to adjust mentally and emotionally too. It will be hard but I know that I'll be able to get through this kind of emotion because I know that God has a better plan for me in the future.
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Till then.
Have a great week ahead!
God Bless.
(photo courtesy of crackerberry.com & makeuseof.com)
