Back to My Realization

            Hi guys! Good morning bloggers!I  know that some of you are wondering why I stopped posting about my life updates lately. I actually lost my interest in writing - It's just that for me - "It doesn't make sense at all". I cannot find a sensible topic where I can "walk my talk". I had more than 10 drafts but I couldn't finish any of them. My life became like the song " Que Sera Sera - (whatever will be, will be), no dreams to pursue, no goals to achieve, nothing to look forward to - just living an ordinary life with my family and friends is enough until...something happened to my niece (daughter of my cousin) that hit me hard again both emotionally and mentally.

        

            She was only 21 years old when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 1c (we both have the same cancer stage) last year. She was rushed to a public hospital where she underwent surgery (left ovary removed). As her mother narrated- after the operation she was so optimistic as she signed an agreement that a group of student doctors will do a research on her, she was full of hope saying - "Gagaling naman ako Ma, okay lang."

           Sadly, the first set of chemo drugs (3 cycles of chemo session) didn't work out on her (tumor marker went up). The second set of chemo drugs (same drugs that was administered to me) didn't work also (tumor marker went higher). On the third chemo drugs that was administered to her, di na nya kinaya bumigay ang lungs nya." She died.

           When I attended her wake, her mother was sharing the experience they had to go through just to have a free drugs and hospitalization but with utmost regret on her last session saying "Sana di na lang nila tinuloy, alam na nilang matindi ung line 3 na gamot, tinuloy pa rin, nagtuturuan, papalit palit ng doctor, pagkagraduate ng doctor iba na naman , parang walang nakatutok na doctor e, antay lang kami kung kelan tawagan. Sana di ko na lang siya pinachemo-tumagal pa sana ang buhay nya- nakapag enjoy pa sana at napakain ko pa sana sya ng gusto nyang pagkain." One of the last few words my niece utter before she died that day was -" Ma, papatayin yata talaga ako ng mga doctor dito."

            It really broke my heart when I learned that she passed away as I was mentoring and encouraging her to fight her illness and assuring her that she will be healed since her cancer was in an early stage pa. A day before her chemo, I was just chatting with her, then a day after her chemo , she passed away-It was so sudden. Listening to her mothers' story I felt really sad and I was crying silently because I couldn't imagine how my niece was able to bear the pain knowing that the doctors lack focus on her situation. I got nothing against doctor practicing their profession in a public hospitals, it's just that I also know how hard it was to battle cancer with all the pain that she had gone through - from the side effects of the drugs- the balding of the hair was the most obvious but the easier one for me, the hardest part was the whole process-the needles, the blood transfusions, the laboratories, the unexplainable pain inside physically, emotionally and mentally. I do understand that our country lacks medical workers and how hard their job is but my sympathy right now belongs to my poor niece. If I were in her situation I wouldn't be able to face my illness with such courage.

            Her mother told us that Allea never blamed God since the beginning of her battle to cancer and continued to hold on to her faith until the last moment. With high hopes of healing, she had lots of plans and dreams ahead but time was not on her side anymore. I praise and admire her courage. As for me, I guess I need to rewire and retune my life again. Some of the old me was lost while starting my new life after my battle with cancer.

            As for Allea, thank you so much dear for bringing me back to my realization - that life is a gift and not a right. Knowing how kind, obedient and responsible daughter she was "sobrang bait daw talaga ng batang yun", I guess God made sure to secure "His angel".

            As for the medical system in our country, I hope that our government will give more focus on improving it and as for the doctors and medical workers I pray that God will continue to bless them with more strength and wisdom in attending the medical needs of Filipino people.

            Thank God for giving me another time and opportunity to live my life again and making me realize its value. God bless everyone. Have a great day ahead!

             

PS. For respect and privacy of my deceased niece - I prefer not to post our photo here but if we are friends in facebook you can see her in my account.

THANKFUL & GRATEFUL THIS DECEMBER '21

          

          Hi guys !!! First I want to apologize to everyone for not being around in this platform lately, it's just that for a while I want to let myself be lost to my own self, ang gulo no? - it was kind of learning from unlearning and relearning from my old mistakes and starting again from scratch which somehow led me redirecting and introducing myself to the unknown future which I fear most in my life. Ang gulo ko pa rin di ba? -that's the reason why I stopped writing, I need to reorganize and synchronize my thoughts first.

         But today I just want to thank all my anonymous co-bloggers ( Dianne, Brenda, Joan, Jane, Edel, Kristine, Chi, April, Mylene and everyone) who supported me morally, financially and spiritually  - you were all such a big help to me. Thank you for all your prayers and support.

          My vocabulary may not be rich as it was before but the word "Thankful and Grateful" will be forever inked in my heart for all the goodness and kindness you've done to me.

          Here's my facebook account : https://www.facebook.com/grace.nadal.77.

          Medyo magulo lang po kasi may mga naka-public ako di ko na machange and erase ung ibang post ko. You can check it guys and I hope we can know each other more on fb too.

God Bless Everyone. Stay Safe and Healthy

Life's Update (July 2019) - Thank God it's False Alarm

          Hello Philippines and Hello blogging world! How are you guys! Here I go again sharing my life here. As much as possible I want to forget my past illness because of my fear of its recurrence but it went back last May. Here's what happened:

First Diagnosis - It was last May 28 when I noticed a mass in the lower part of my abdomen so I promptly went to the nearest clinic in our area the next day. So after checking up the mass in my abdomen and hearing the background of my previous illness, automatically the doctor noted his diagnosis "Tumor recurrence" in the prescription pad. So I prayed, "Lord wag naman po sanang bumalik si Big C, break na nga kami e."

Second Diagnosis - I was alarmed with the first diagnosis so I immediately reported it to my Ob-gyne in San Juan de Dios the next day but upon checking my abdomen, my doctor told me that her diagnosis was not tumor recurrence but "Hernia". Though it was only an initial diagnosis, It was such a relief, knowing that it was only "hernia or luslos". Iff such finding is confirmed,  minor operation is needed to remove it. I thought to myself that maybe it was my fault - "kung kasalanan man ang maging masipag, aminado ako".My mother is constantly reminding me - wag abusuhin ang sarili." but I also assured her that I'm okay.  I thought probably because of my going back and forth routine to the supermarket, carrying loaded groceries and lifting my nephew and niece cause the occurrence of "hernia" in the lower part of my abdomen. So I prayed again, thank you Lord, maysakit man ako atleast magaan ang pagdadaanan ko. I was able to sleep soundly that night because of that second diagnosis.

Third Diagnosis - I reported to my oncologist in the San Juan de Dios the next morning.  She checked my abdomen and noticed something new - "there's a palpitation above the abdominal mass" and so she noted her findings as "abdominal aortic aneurysm". It took me a while to absorb what I've heard but later I realize the possibility of having that kind of illness since my father also have a heart aneurysm and he's been going back and forth to Philippine Heart Center to monitor the size of the bulge in his aorta. My oncologist noticed my reaction changed and told me not to worry, a whole abdominal ultrasound is needed to confirm her findings. I was not able to sleep well that night, I prayed and ask God to give me strength and wisdom to face this new trial in my life.

Fourth Diagnosis - A whole abdominal ultrasound was perform to me the next day. It was the technician who performed it first and she told me that she didn't notice any solid mass in my abdomen. I told her to repeat it so I was instructed to drink more water again. It was the doctor who performed the second ultrasound, I insisted that there's a solid mass in my abdomen and her reply was "wala talaga". So I asked again, what is that solid mass in my abdomen that I always notice? - her answer --"poopoo". She smiled "poopoo" daw talaga. With confusion, I asked her again - then why is it that it is always present in that particular area? - her answer gave me relief , "simply because it's where our descending colon is located. It was such a relief to find out what was inside that made me so worried for few days, "nakakapraning mag-isip di ba? So thankful to God with the result of ultrasound and finally after few days of sleepless nights I was able to sleep soundly and went back to my usual "palengke-grocery-tindahan routine"

          I waited for another month to publish this post because I needed to confirm the result of my tumor marker screening (CA125) which is done every three months and was schedule last July. I do not want to be too complacent with the result of my ultrasound and needed this test to monitor if there is any recurrence and thankful again that the result is "perfectly normal". It was the reaction of my oncologist and I was so happy when I heard it.

         It's quite costly, stressful and mentally exhausting to undergo series of check ups and laboratories to monitor my health but as always the result gives me tranquility and relief to know that everything is okay.

        Thank God its false alarm...Thank God Im okay...Thank God for letting me live a simple life again. and thank you all for including me in your prayers. Truly, God is so amazing!

Till then.
Have a great weekend!
God Bless.

Life's Update (May 2019) - Facing Mr. Big C Again?

          Hi guys, sorry I haven't been around in this blogging sphere for a while. I am really getting so so tired lately that I have no energy to write another post. But still I miss writing down all my life experiences here. So here are some updates about my life and health condition today:

           • Let me share some good news first – The result of my tumor marker screening (CA 125) is within the normal range (less than 4) and my doctor is happy with the result. I’ll have my monitoring check up/ lab result every three months.

           •  Some bad news  too - I think my scoliosis is getting worse. When levoscoliosis appeared on my CT scan result, my oncologist referred me to the PT department, and I was required to undergo 6 theraphy session for 2 weeks. I only did one theraphy session, ang mahal po kasi - each session costs 900++ (discounted price na). After that 6 PT session xray and ultrasound will be required before the doctor recommends another set of PT. Actually, my therapist notice something in my back which means that I have 2 kinds of scoliosis kaya baka daw mag letter S ang spinal ko. 
          Another reason why I didn't continue my theraphy is the transportation, nakakapagod mag commute at ang daming overpass mong lalakarin para lang makatawid kaya wala ring sense yung theraphy kasi napagod lang akong mag commute, di ba? Anyway, I'm planning to inquire in the hospital near our area, our neighbor mentioned to us that there's a physical rehabilitation center in that hospital.
   
          •  Another good news - Although my father was diagnosed with heart aneurysm last year, his bypass operation was postponed, check up is required every 3 months to monitor the size of the "buldge' in one of the major vessel of his heart. " Kahit papano nagkaron ako ng relief  knowing my father's condition  is not so critical.

         •  And another bad news - I notice a mass in my abdominal area so I went to the clinic a while ago and the doctor confirmed it. He told me that there's a possibility that my cancer metastasize. I told him that my CA 125 is always within the normal range, why is it that it was not detected? The doctor told me that there is a possibility that its a different cancer and a different tumor marker is needed. Well, I guess I'll be facing Mr. Big C again. Pray for me again guys.

Till then.
God Bless
Have a great day ahead!

Agencies/ Institutions where I seek for financial and medical assistance

           Hi guyz, sorry I haven't been around lately in this blogging world, aside from having a poor internet connection at home, I was also busy attending to my father's health condition who was diagnosed with heart aneurysm but now he's okay.
           This post is primarily intended to give idea to cancer patients like me as to where they can seek financial / medical assistance from different agencies. This post is based on my personal experience, opinion and through the help also of my family and co-patients who also shared their experiences during my Big C Battle. There maybe some changes in rules or additional requirements but atleast I can give some insights on where to go or what to prepare before you go to to these agencies.     

          Basically, you will have to prepare these requirements and bring them along with their photocopies.

          - Medical Abstract / Medical Certificate
          - Surgical Pathology / Biopsy Report
          - Record of Operation
          - Official Receipts (Hospital Bill/Professional Fees)
          - Doctor's Medical Prescription of Chemo Meds with stated schedule of cycle
          - Barangay Certificate / Certificate of Indigencies
          - House Utility Bill (Meralco/Nawasa/Maynilad)
          - Latest Payslip of employed family member
          - Photocopy of atleast 2 valid ID's
          - Forms to be accomplished in every agency you'll go
          - Ballpen & Bond Papers - you will need to write letters to the head of agencies or to whoever               you want to seek for financial/medical assistance

          Now these are the agencies/institutions where you can turn to after being diagnosed with cancer.

Public Hospitals - "Mahirap, matagal at kailangan ng mahabang pasensya sa public hospitals" but If I had time I also want to have a second opinion in Philippine General Hospital (PGH). My highschool classmate suggested that most of the cancer specialists are there but my doctor said that my cancer is aggressive and it needs an urgent operation so my mother insisted that I should stay in my hospital where I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. My cousin also had a cervical center last year and was treated in Jose Reyes Memorial Center - most of her chemo meds are almost free, radiation, laboratories and brachytheraphy cost are way cheaper compared to other hospitals.

Philhealth - We all know that this agency is primarily responsible for our healthcare and hospitalization so my piece of advice - prioritize your Philhealth contribution. If you belong to indigent people you can seek for sponsorship in your municipality. If not you can pay for it immediately just like what I did when I was diagnosed with cancer last year. I was not able to use it on my surgical operation and on my 1st and 4th chemo confinement (misunderstanding and shortcomings of philhealth and admin staffs of the hospital) but I was able to use its inpatient benefits on my 5th & 6th onco confinement. I was able to get 7k+ reimbursement too few months after I gathered enough strength to file it in their office. But what I have learned about Philhealth through their website is that there are certain types of cancer under their Z benefits program like breast, colon, cervical and prostate cancer where they give 100% coverage though I'm not sure how it can be availed.

Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office (PCSO), Quezon City- Four sets of chemo meds which costs around P73,200 (P18,300/set) were granted to me by PCSO and If I had a patience and endurance to bear the pain after the operation for three days I would have had at least 50% discount on my operation/hospital bill. "Sa PCSO, kelangan tyaga talaga, 3am ang alis namin sa bahay dahil 5am pa lang mahaba na ang pila pero worth it naman ang kapalit na halaga nito." So if you plan to seek for medical and financial assistance just make sure you have the requirements I listed. "Malaki laking amount ang binibigay nila through guarantee letter sa mga hospital bills and chemo meds."

Social Security System (SSS) - The benefits I had in this agency gave me financial peace of mind after my chemo."Kahit papano nakapagbalik ako ng konting pera sa kapatid ko, nakapagbayad ng konting utang at nagkaron ako ngayon ng panggastos sa mga gamot, pagkain at konting supplements araw araw".  Though my application was decline when I first filed for it, I was granted with both sickness benefit of P33k and disability benefit of P4,750/month for more than a year on my second application in another branch. Just be sure to bring hospital records (medical abstract, record of operation and surgical pathology/biopsy report) when filing for sickness and disability claim.

(Medical) Social Welfare Services - My father was diagnosed with heart aneurysm last month and was confined in an emergency room and the laboratories and hospital confinement bill went up to P38,500 (one day lang yan). We were given 50% discount so the bill went down to P18,750 but since we only had P3,000 I went back to the social worker and asked for an additional discount and they were very considerate and gave me another discount. The bill went down to P1,500 only. Grabe, sobrang thankful kay God that day not only because of the discount that we had but with the good news that my father does not need to undergo on a bypass operation.

         After a week, I also went in our hospital (Taguig Pateros District Hospital) for check up and laboratories. As part of my monitoring CT scan, blood chem and xray are required but they are quite expensive so I opted to to go public hospital where medical social service is present. I was given a C3 rank on a card which is equivalent to 75% discount. So from 16,300 the bill went down to P3,260 (less PWD and Social Service discount).

Persons with Disability ID - This ID is a big help to cancer patients. It has a lot of privileges and discounts on foods, medicines, hospital bills, laboratories etc. and it's easy to apply - just go to PDAO (Persons with Disabilty Affairs Office) in your barangay or city hall and present your medical abstract, barangay certificate and Id picture.

Medical Assistance from DSWD & in City Hall - I also went in City Hall office for financial/medical assistance but they explain to me that they only give guarantee letter in chosen hospitals unfortunately the hospital where I was confined is not included in their list. I've talked to a social worker in our place and they told me that DSWD gives financial assistance to cancer patients. Plus our city government here in Taguig also gives free healthcare services & treatment to breast cancer patients too.

Executive, Legislative, LGU and other government offices - some of my patients I know went to the Office of the Vice President, DOH office, Office of Senators, Mayor or Vice Mayors office to ask for financial help. Guarantee letter in particular were given to them. "Tyagaan at lakasan ng loob tlaga, sabi nila." kaya warriors and fighters talaga yung mga nakilala kong kapwa pasyente.

          Having this kind of illness is really hard. It can drain you physically, emotionally, mentally and financially as well but I guess God has its own way of teaching me a lesson. "Naubos man ang savings ko, naturuan naman ako kung saan at paano makakahingi ng tulong sa ahensya at institusyon ng gobyerno at ang pinaka amazing na ginawa ni God ay yung mahipo nya ang puso ng mga taong hindi ko man kilala at nasa malalayong lugar na tumulong sa akin financially. Salamat sa Diyos at Salamat sa lahat ng tumulong sa akin. "Grabeng kumilos si God talaga."
       
         So there goes my experiences in seeking financial/medical assistance. I guess my piece of advice I can give is to be inquisitive. "Basta magtanong lang ng magtanong - sa mga ahensya at mga empleyado nito, pag nadeny ang application, magtanong sa ibang branch. Magtanong sa kapwa pasyente o kamag anak ng pasyente, maniwala kayo mas marami silang alam.

P.s. My father and I both have regular laboratory expenses done every three months, every six months, and every year ( CT Scan, CT Aortogram, Ultrasound, Blood Chem, CA 125 (tumor marker screening) aside from emergency medical circumstances that I should be prepared for when it happens. But I know that through God's wisdom and God's Grace He'll lead me and find ways to recover again.

Till then. Have a great day!
Merry Christmas & God Bless.