Sunday, February 25, 2018

"BIG C" Battle : Bald me... Having emotional struggle

         Sorry, I haven't been able to update my blog lately. There's this roller coaster emotion I've experienced these past few weeks that's been keeping my mind from writing anything on this blogsite.

        Everyday, lots of my hair is losing especially when I'm taking a bath, combing my hair and even just by merely stroking it. Hair falls are present everywhere so after my laboratory check up last month, I went to the salon to get my hair shaved and it really felt light, hahah.

         Yes, it felt good - no more hair scattered around my pillows, floors and bathrooms but though it felt good it doesn't feel right. That day, I was looking at the mirror and suddenly my emotion fell down. I cried because it seems I am not the one in front of the mirror. I keep on asking myself - is it really me? I tried to look good by buying head dress or bandana (I don't know if it is the right term) and put it on whenever I go outside our house. Sometimes I forgot to put on my bandana, kids we're teasing me outside but my niece and nephew can still recognize me and it gladdens my heart more.

      Whenever I'm left alone at home I cried but I tried to look happy and pretend to be strong when I'm in front of my family especially with my mother. But whenever I have time to chat with my best friends I poured out my heart and feelings to them just to release the emotional pain I've been going through inside.

      Sorry, this blog has been my form of release for a long period of time and I just can't believe that I am experiencing this kind of emotion right now. But then I have to face and accept the fact and be able to handle this emotional and psychological struggle.
      Well, - I am still beautiful - no matter what they say, words can bring me down, hahah, kinanta na lang di ba. One of my friends in fb, commented -" mala Sinnead O Connor and dating" - and replied to his comment - "ok, pag-aaralan ko na ring bumirit ng kantang "Nothing Compares to U".

     Anyway, I am still the same Grace inside. Though sometimes I can't bear the feelings inside me I know that God will always help me get through it.

Till then.
God Bless.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

"Big C" Battle : Got my PWD ID

          I was inspired by the stories of some cancer patients in onco unit that I decided to get my PWD ID too. I know that my immune system will eventually weakened but that doesn't mean it will stop me from doing what I needed to do - to apply for that ID.

         "During my first chemo session, I got a piece of advice from a breast cancer patient - "get a Person with Disability ID, it was a big help to me while I was filing my PCSO requirements." I asked her," What are the benefits?" and she just answered, "it has the same benefits with the senior citizen ID." This PWD ID will give less 20% from the hospital bill, less 12% VAT and 20% discount from the medicines, another discounts from the foods, transportation, groceries etc. But the most important benefit that I want in this ID is that it gives priority especially in riding a jeepney or any other form of  transportation and transactions too which is really a big help to a cancer patients like us.

       It captured my interest and so we went to Taguig City Hall - Persons with Disability Affairs (PDAO) office to file for it. I only submitted 4 requirements - photocopy of Barangay Clearance/Indigency, Medical Abstract/Certificate, 1x1 ID picture and then fill up their application form. Then I was interviewed by their Officer in charge and told him that I really need it for my hospitalization and in less than an hour my ID & booklets were given to me.

      So here's goes my new PWD with Purchase booklets & ID.

         God is really good. He's really showing me ways to lessen my burdens. 

Always - "To God be the glory."

Till then! Have a great weekend guys!

"BIG C" Battle : Life goes on - PICC Registration & Oathtaking

      They call cancer the "Big C" illness - big word. I don't know why but it seems when a person have cancer it feels like its the end of the world already - and that's what I felt when I found out I have cancer last year but life goes on for me. The doctor told me to stay away from public places since my immune system will be weakened by the chemomeds and my defense against other illness is down but still I want to continue living my life.   
     Everyone who is reading my blog posts knows that one of my ultimate dream goal is to finish a degree course and to pass the licensure exam but part of that completion my goal is to attend the oathtaking and registration to get my license card. Though I was not allowed to, I told my mother I want to go to PICC where the registration & oathtaking will be held (though not the ceremony anymore). I told her that I want to experience the fruit of my hardship before I lose all my hair, hahah "talagang inisip ang sitwasyon ng buhok."

         But it's the truth, I want to do all the things I want do before I lose all my hair. It's part of the side effect of my chemo treatment. I know that eventually my immune system will also be weakened and the more I will not be allowed to go to public places. I told my mother to let me live a normal life and let me do things I want to do before my second chemo and my wish was granted.

      I met classmates last January 19 and I was so happy. They willingly sacrifice the actual oathtaking ceremony to be with me. That day I was a student, a classmate and a friend who loves reminiscing about how we missed our college life, our review weekends in CBRC, our experience during let exams and our excitement when we found out that we passed the board exam. For one day I forgot that I am sick and I was really happy that I passed that licensure exam and I believe that God has a purpose for letting it happen.

Here are some few clips of my one day event in PICC:

with my classmates :)
         It's a wonderful experience in life being with my great friends. you will really appreciate the moment of it and I think God is letting me enjoy my life, it's one thing that I realize that day -"not to worry too much about the future and just let GOD do the rest in our lives.

 Always "To God be the Glory".
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