"BIG C" Battle : Update, Thankful Heart and Realization in Life

UPDATE

6th Chemotheraphy Session @ SJDEFI Hospital

           I finished my 6th chemo last April 24 and went to the hospital last May 15 for follow check up. I underwent 3 CBC (Complete Blood Count)  exam after my chemo because my hemoglobin and wcb results were too low and I was not allowed to go to public places because my health might be compromised. It was only on the 3rd CBC exam that it went back to the normal range and finally last May 15 the doctor gave me a go signal that I can go to the mall and meet my friends. And the good news was I will only be monitoring my CA 125 result & follow up check up every three months. Though the oncologist told me she cannot assure the cancer will not recur I'm am still thankful that I was given a chance to live my life again. And even if I'm bald and have one to three strands of hair on my eyebrows and eyelashes, I am excited and I'm looking forward to have my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes back, "Hayy, namiss ko talagang mag-shampoo, magsuklay at mag-ayos ng kilay."

my latest no kilay look  - edited with face magic apps

THANKFUL HEART

         I've already sent some thank you messages to all the people who gave financial support for my medical expenses thru email but I still want to thank you guys here as I know that some of you are following my journey here in my site. To Joan, April, Edel, Chi, Ardy and to all who gave financial support and prayers for recovery I want to thank you guys with all my heart. You were all a big part of my journey as I face this battle and I know that you were all God's instrument in showing His love and care to me. I may not be able to pay you back financially but I pray that GOD will bless you all abundantly. I will also try to help others the best way I possibly can and through this blog I hope I can inspire others to appreciate and be thankful to God for the life that we have now.

REALIZATION IN LIFE

          Before I undergo my 4th chemo session, I encountered some health problem. My blood pressure shoots up to 170/120. From 130/100, 140/100, 150/120 to 170/120 - I didn't notice any signs of my bp going up just some headache and neck pain. I hated myself that I cannot control my blood pressure and cannot accept it that day. I felt something ticking in my head and got scared about it. As I told myself, "Di yata ako mamamatay sa cancer e, baka sa stroke ako ma-one time big time dahil sa lakas ng pitik sa ulo ko & I prayed - Lord wag muna ngayon." But thank God, through some medication administered through IV it went down to 140/90 and now my blood pressure went back to 100/70.

        My realization now is that no matter how we plan our lives and our future still our lives is in God's hand. If it is God's will to get back the life that He gave to us then it will happen. As what my "lodi" Steve Jobs said - "Death is the inevitable, a life's change agent and a destiny we all share. So whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down."

          So while we live in this world we should honor thy God, treasure and love our family & friends and appreciate the life that we have now for we only have one journey, one opportunity and one chance to live and enjoy our life.

Have a great day!!!

 

"BIG C" Battle : Chemotheraphy Sessions

         Sorry again I wasn't able to update this blog. I need to clear up my mind and focus on getting well so I'd be able to cope with the side effects of chemo. Numbness, tingling sensations, and joint pains are just few side effects of chemo but those side effects have an unexplainable but bearable feeling to me. I had no nausea, appetite loss and vomiting experience but if there's one side effect that I really hate is the difficulty in sleeping. I really have a hard time sleeping after chemo that I decided not to open my laptop for a while, focus on getting a good night sleep and just live a healthy, routinely lifestyle.

2nd Chemo Session

3rd Chemo Session

4th Chemo Session

5th Chemo Session

         During my 4th and 5th chemo session, I encountered some health problems before undergoing chemo theraphy like high blood pressure and blood count problems. My blood pressure went up to 170/120 during my 4th chemo that I need to take amlodipine, catapres and another meds administered through IV to lower my blood pressure. Another problem that I encountered during my 5th chemo was my hemoglobin and white blood count went down that I need to go through blood transfusion first. But other than those problems everything went well. I still have to undergo one last chemo and hopefully it'll be the last but that will still depend on the laboratory result & CA 125.

      Regardless of the side effects and problems I encountered I am so thankful to God for giving me the strength to survive this battle and again grateful to all people who gave financial support and sent their prayers for my healing.

Till then.
Treasure your life and your love ones.
Have a great day!

"BIG C" Battle : Bald me... Having emotional struggle

         Sorry, I haven't been able to update my blog lately. There's this roller coaster emotion I've experienced these past few weeks that's been keeping my mind from writing anything on this blogsite.

        Everyday, lots of my hair is losing especially when I'm taking a bath, combing my hair and even just by merely stroking it. Hair falls are present everywhere so after my laboratory check up last month, I went to the salon to get my hair shaved and it really felt light, hahah.

         Yes, it felt good - no more hair scattered around my pillows, floors and bathrooms but though it felt good it doesn't feel right. That day, I was looking at the mirror and suddenly my emotion fell down. I cried because it seems I am not the one in front of the mirror. I keep on asking myself - is it really me? I tried to look good by buying head dress or bandana (I don't know if it is the right term) and put it on whenever I go outside our house. Sometimes I forgot to put on my bandana, kids we're teasing me outside but my niece and nephew can still recognize me and it gladdens my heart more.

      Whenever I'm left alone at home I cried but I tried to look happy and pretend to be strong when I'm in front of my family especially with my mother. But whenever I have time to chat with my best friends I poured out my heart and feelings to them just to release the emotional pain I've been going through inside.

      Sorry, this blog has been my form of release for a long period of time and I just can't believe that I am experiencing this kind of emotion right now. But then I have to face and accept the fact and be able to handle this emotional and psychological struggle.
    

      Well, - I am still beautiful - no matter what they say, words can bring me down, hahah, kinanta na lang di ba. One of my friends in fb, commented -" mala Sinnead O Connor and dating" - and replied to his comment - "ok, pag-aaralan ko na ring bumirit ng kantang "Nothing Compares to U".

     Anyway, I am still the same Grace inside. Though sometimes I can't bear the feelings inside me I know that God will always help me get through it.


Till then.
God Bless.

"Big C" Battle : Got my PWD ID

          I was inspired by the stories of some cancer patients in onco unit that I decided to get my PWD ID too. I know that my immune system will eventually weakened but that doesn't mean it will stop me from doing what I needed to do - to apply for that ID.

         "During my first chemo session, I got a piece of advice from a breast cancer patient - "get a Person with Disability ID, it was a big help to me while I was filing my PCSO requirements." I asked her," What are the benefits?" and she just answered, "it has the same benefits with the senior citizen ID." This PWD ID will give less 20% from the hospital bill, less 12% VAT and 20% discount from the medicines, another discounts from the foods, transportation, groceries etc. But the most important benefit that I want in this ID is that it gives priority especially in riding a jeepney or any other form of  transportation and transactions too which is really a big help to a cancer patients like us.

       It captured my interest and so we went to Taguig City Hall - Persons with Disability Affairs (PDAO) office to file for it. I only submitted 4 requirements - photocopy of Barangay Clearance/Indigency, Medical Abstract/Certificate, 1x1 ID picture and then fill up their application form. Then I was interviewed by their Officer in charge and told him that I really need it for my hospitalization and in less than an hour my ID & booklets were given to me.

      So here's goes my new PWD with Purchase booklets & ID.

         God is really good. He's really showing me ways to lessen my burdens. 

Always - "To God be the glory."

Till then! Have a great weekend guys!

"BIG C" Battle : Life goes on - PICC Registration & Oathtaking

      They call cancer the "Big C" illness - big word. I don't know why but it seems when a person have cancer it feels like its the end of the world already - and that's what I felt when I found out I have cancer last year but life goes on for me. The doctor told me to stay away from public places since my immune system will be weakened by the chemomeds and my defense against other illness is down but still I want to continue living my life.   
       
     Everyone who is reading my blog posts knows that one of my ultimate dream goal is to finish a degree course and to pass the licensure exam but part of that completion my goal is to attend the oathtaking and registration to get my license card. Though I was not allowed to, I told my mother I want to go to PICC where the registration & oathtaking will be held (though not the ceremony anymore). I told her that I want to experience the fruit of my hardship before I lose all my hair, hahah "talagang inisip ang sitwasyon ng buhok."

         But it's the truth, I want to do all the things I want do before I lose all my hair. It's part of the side effect of my chemo treatment. I know that eventually my immune system will also be weakened and the more I will not be allowed to go to public places. I told my mother to let me live a normal life and let me do things I want to do before my second chemo and my wish was granted.

      I met classmates last January 19 and I was so happy. They willingly sacrifice the actual oathtaking ceremony to be with me. That day I was a student, a classmate and a friend who loves reminiscing about how we missed our college life, our review weekends in CBRC, our experience during let exams and our excitement when we found out that we passed the board exam. For one day I forgot that I am sick and I was really happy that I passed that licensure exam and I believe that God has a purpose for letting it happen.

Here are some few clips of my one day event in PICC:

with my classmates :)

       

         It's a wonderful experience in life being with my great friends. you will really appreciate the moment of it and I think God is letting me enjoy my life, it's one thing that I realize that day -"not to worry too much about the future and just let GOD do the rest in our lives.

 Always "To God be the Glory".