Battle Against Cancer: Part 1 - Acceptance and Thankful Heart

          It's not easy to accept that I have cancer that's why it's hard for me to write another post this year. I admit I still have fears, the "bakit ako" drama or "andami namang gago dyan bakit sa akin pa tumama ang cancer" feeling, rage, despair, uncertainties in life  and lots of negative emotions but then whenever I think about my condition I have no choice but to fight my own self. I have to accept that I have this illness called cancer, that I can longer bear a child since my reproductive organs were removed, that I have to undergo chemo treatment with lots of side effects and I have to prepare myself financially, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

          I cannot fathom why God allows this illness to my body but realization came a while ago - the famous "it's not you, it's me" line. God is telling me that "the life that you have is not about you but it's about ME". I forgot that this life that we have is not about us but it's about HIM. The life that I have is not a right but it's a gift and I have no right to complain. HE is telling me to appreciate every little things in life that I have and praise HIM with the gift of life that HE gave me.

         So now that the battle has started, my first armour is acceptance, my first soldier is my own self battling my own negativity and God as my final defense. God is continously sending reinforcements through this blog, through facebook and through the generous hearts of people giving prayers, encouragements and financial support. This illness is truly an ultimate humbler - it took away all my pride as I now learn to admit my mistakes and weakness, ask for other people's help and rely on God's plan over my life. As what my co-blogger Joan says - "do not be too proud or too ashamed to ask for help, at some point in our lives we all need help from others". Let me take this opportunity to thank my co-bloggers Joan, April and Chi who gave financial support to me - "Thank you so much", and to all my anonymous readers out there who are continually sending prayers and encouragements, "million thanks to all".
      
          This 2018 will be a difficult journey for me but with God's amazing grace I know I will win this battle.

Have a wonderful 2018 ahead!
God bless.